Valentine's Day 2009

My heart lies sheltered
in the cradle of your soul

I can be more than I dreamed
through the gift of your love

Entwined with you I touch eternity
and soar.

Entwined with you I am whole
completed
one.

...all tumbling down...

...the castles built in stone reveal themselves as merely sand
and crumble to the touch
...and the dreams we had we thought were gold
tarnish now and rust

...and the hopes we placed in plans we made
have withered on the vine
...and we stand alone and watch the waves
wash clean our foolish pride.

When it stops serving you it's time to let it all go.

A Year in My Own Words

Thankful for old friends; espcially the ones I didn't know I had at the time.

Loves Mark. My Forever Valentine

Has discovered Lake Hydrogen-Peroxide. It's outside my bathroom door.

Now discovered Lake Elmers...it starts at elmer waterfall...meanders across messy-room-land to become a lake on the 2nd shelf of bookcaseville.

Is marveling at all the new places she is discovering in her house. Today it was Paper Towel Lane.

Just had the best phone conversation. Reconnecting with an old friend.

Is amused by her son's eclectic spelling: He want's "franch frais"

My son is surfing his RC car. Stand on it...balance...balance...woosh...thud..."I'm ok Mommy...I'm ok"

"Never" and "Can't" are fences for your mind. Take them down and live Limitless

"Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here. You may have noticed that I'm not all there myself. "

Weirdness, when stifled, becomes Neurosis. Live Your Eccentricity

Dance Naked in the Rain with Flowers in your Hair

Email Notifications are like little erection daisies popping up in a field of cyber-thoughts.

Houses should come with a "self cleaning" option...like ovens.

Coffee...Chocolate...Wine. I'm adding these food groups to my Nutritional Pyramid

If Life could be expected...then it would only be a memory.

Sometimes you need to live life with nerve endings uncovered by a skin of feeling and exist WITHOUT Filters.

Walk alone at midnight. It frees the soul from bondage

Nothing so beautiful as a full moon over a tropical island

POOL...GRILL...BBQ CHICKEN....CABERNET. Does life GET better than this?

Money doesn't BUY happiness...it just lets you enjoy the HELL out of it.

Adrenaline Rush...haven't been HERE in a while. Too Long.

Popular Vote should not be allowed to write Discrimination into the Law.

No better way to start the week than spending the morning in bed with Mark.

Wishes her finances could be as joyful as her relationship

Some people cannot see past the end of their own agenda

Time to brew up a little magic

Wonders: Is that Pixie Dust in your pocket...or are you just happy to see me

Tryin on her Diva skin. And it feels like Home!

Wave your Magic Wand baby...c'mon and take me there.

Love is a symbiotic emotion...it must continually be co-created to persevere...that's why they call it "making" love.

The mirrors we hold up for others also reflect our own insecurities back at us. Helping another see their truth simply shines the light brighter into our own darkness. Bless the circle of life for we cannot give without receiving.

You can't live who you are until you let go of who you think you should be.

What is the sound-track of your life...what music plays you and calls you it's own. Music is the instrument through which we live our lives...

What is the soundtrack of your life...What songs speak the language of your soul?

The Possibilities are limitless. The only limits in life are the ones we impose upon ourselves

Forks and spoons fresh from the washer...become a bunch of balloons in the hands and mind of a child.

Sit by my side, and let the world slip...

All my left turns in life finally led me right....I'm so glad I can see and appreciate that. I <3 you Mark...Happy Birthday (8/22) Turning 21 again right?

How does one get a 10 yr old to do a writing assignment without doing it for him? "Just take the note-pad and WRITE...even if it sounds stupid...you can take what makes sense but it's the physical ACT of writing that makes things come"

Nothing says GOOD MORNING like watching your neighbor's car go up in flames

Lesson 1: In the war between thumbs and Library doors...The door wins.

Happy Anniversary to the Love of My Life. October 15 2009...15 years together, 12 married and I'm still Madly in Love.

Pedaling madly and falling futher behind. Just can't do this anymore.

and the winds of change begin to blow....

Trying to help my husband memorize lines is similar to him trying to help me comprehend higher mathmatics. Our thinking styles collide and then our brains implode.

I finally understand the joy on my grandmother's face when I would bring home a school project. This stuff is FUN

Restoring Order after chaos.

Wants to Wish the HAPPIEST of Thanksgivings to all friends: Old or New; Near or Far....and all her Family: in Name and in Heart. I am so thankful to have all of you in my life and enriching my life....I would not be who I am without you. May we have many more years of building memories together. Blessings to you all.

And the blessings flow from the sky....and the clouds hug the mountains close and cool the air...and the wind breathes out new life and fresh spirit. Let the cleansing rain fall and wash us new. ~Blessings on a Rainy Thanksgiving~ ...and now to go spend this rainy day preparing food and home in gratitude for all I have been gifted with...

Cheshire Cat Grin

parenting needs to come with vacation pay....and lots of valium...and maybe a fully stocked bar and personal masseuse too.

fighting for every inch of that "Most Wonderful Time Of The Year" feeling.

May all the blessings of the Season be bright upon you. May you be enfolded in the warmth of the love of family and friends. Happy Holidays to All.

*Santa* the real Santa...is the spirit of love and light that fills us all as we bring Joy and Love to those dear to us...but more than that...when our joy and love extends beyond our circle into the hearts of those who have no joy or hope or love. Send your love into the world like a butterfly without any attachment to where it lands or who it touches...it's enough to know it will make the world a little brighter

In Your Own Words

On a board I post on we were asked to describe an orgasm...in our own words. This was the best I could come up with.

Deep in the darkest quiet of my soul
         there is a stirring...
a hum of sound that is not sound...
         a wave of light,
                 of fire
that burns without consuming...

the ocean of my soul parts
       and lets in the wet of you.
                    Lapping,
                         surging,
                             pounding
our waters merge into the oneness of desire...
         where the bonds of flesh slough off
                      and all that is we becomes a torus.
A symbol of eternity. 

Eon moments of unity...
                               of wet...
                                      of flame.
Until we slowly come back to ourselves.

Separate yet bound
      on a level of the soul
that hums the sound of us
      as it quietly waits to stir
once more.


that's the best I can do to describe the indescribable.

Two Roses

 For Tatiana & Huberto on their Wedding Day

Two Roses
     on a Single Vine

          Entwined

Soul Petals Brushing

Soft Love Rain-mist
     Dampens

          like Dew

Melting One into the Other

Entwined they are

     Completed

          Unified

They Bloom Eternally

     and Merge 

          until

Barriers Disolve

     in Love

and they are United

    In Time

         and

             Timeless

Love ~ 10/00

The scent of love lingers in the air

Between our bodies sparks still fly
Damp and glistening we lie apart yet touching
I feel your eyes caressing me
I breathe your breath
And become more a part of you

Your scent lingers with me
It comes back to haunt me
When we are apart
Moisture flows at the thought of you

We burn the air and shift time
Together we create a new reality
I long to be filled with your life
And gift you with creation

The sum of US is greater than eternity

(In honor of Valentines Day)

Water Roses ~ ?/2000

Petals Fall Outward
From the Heart of the Rose
As Foam-capped Waves
Caress and Shape the Sand-covered Shores
Moonbeams Dance
Across Endless Expances of Water
As They Multiply in Reflection

Soft as a Rose Petal
My Want Brushes Your Soul
Ephemeral Foam Spirits
Caress and Re-shape Each Other
While Love Illuminates
And Multiplies
In the Refraction of the Waters of Your Heart.

For Julian ~ Eyes of Creation ~ ?/2001

I Remember Expectation
Your First Communication
Bubbles of Hope
Tickling the Inside of my Womb

Bubbles Transform into Branches
Tapping, Poking, Pushing Outward
Against the Seal of Flesh
and Muscle that
Holds the World Away

Time
Skin becomes Rock
and Self Disolves in Timeless Eternity
of Pain/Sleep Pain/Sleep
Eons Passing in Another World

Ripping
The You-Before is Torn Away
At the First Breath of a Miracle

And the Eyes of Creation
Look on you for the First Time.

Memories 12/18/90

I look back on summers
long gone
And I remember faces
of those known before
Friends who share a place
in my heart

Sometimes it is good
to look back
To let memories slide
through your mind
Like drops of rain
down a pane of glass

But we must also live
for the moment
Look at each second
as a precious pearl
For this moment really
is all we have

{I will be transferring my poems to my blog with date written where possible...enjoy}

Art for Sale

So...interestingly enough my artwork...the one thing I DIDN'T take classes in or ever see as a "career"...is selling. I illustrated (and was paid for) a childrens book a friend of mine wrote. It hasn't been published yet but it's on its way there. I think I did some good work here but it was definitely a challenge.

Then a friend of mine just commissioned me to do an art piece for her husband for Valentines Day. As a gift to him. I actually wound up writing a poem as well as designing, drawing and painting this.

I think it turned out pretty nice. :)

It's just bizarre to me to get paid for this...it would be like getting paid to act. I LOVE acting, so much so that I would pay to do it. I love writing poems and gifting them. I love drawing and creating things. SHEESH I even love doing massage and I still have a hard time asking for money for that.

GAH! I need a manager. Someone who can sell and price and negotiate my work FOR me. Oh honey...wanna be my art pimp? ROFL.

WHY is it so hard to put a value on this kind of work. I can calculate how much my time is worth for doing payroll or office management or customer service (even massage...I can figure an hourly rate) But art? Maybe it's because it stems from the heart and soul of who I am. There is a piece of me embedded in there and it's very hard to put a price tag on your soul.

KWIM?

Twas the Night Before

... And the presents were nestled all under the tree
whilst children slept lightly waiting to see

So lift up a glass and we'll toast to Yule cheer
We don't have to be close for our hearts to be near.
Happy Holidays Everyone

Words of Wisdom

Sometimes in the midst of life I come up with a rare gem. Some word of wisdom offered up to another in the moment that is something I would do well to remember for myself. Going to try find some of those gifts of insight in my back communications and centralize them here. This entry will be in flux for a while as I add things...feel free to skip/skim/or revisit.

You create who you are by your own self image; love yourself enough to create someone beautiful.
Those who live in toddler houses shouldn't have glass balls
Make others treat you with the respect you deserve.
You are drawn to teach what you need to learn...and are usually good at it.
Don't dimish the complement. Accept it, and know that it is true.
The best thing you can do for yourself is learn to accept complements without quantifying them
Don't let anyone put you down by not allowing you to validate yourself
Those who love you raise you to greater heights...that is the point of loving someone
If you see yourself as attractive then you become attractive no matter your body type...a lot of being attractive is attitude.
Crying is good in measured doses. It washes the windows of the soul so you can see clearly again.

All Hallow's Eve...Samhain...Hallowe'en

Aaaah Hallowe'en.
A time of mystery and magic...
A time of shadows and moonlight
When the veil between the worlds thins
and only our laughter anchors us to the now.

Samhain
The New Year
Winter's Beginning
Where the Wheel of Life
The Circle; begins it's rotation
With the dying of the land.

A time of Faeries and Masks and Deception
Of treats and tricks
of laughter and screams
A time to glorify and revel in our fears
and perchance
heal them.

Remembering Mary

My friends Annaleah and Joshua used to do playback theatre with me. Their daughter Mary had had some issues at birth that caused her to have motor skills issues and speach issues. A sweeter soul you would never meet though.

I remember doing a playback rehearsal where I played Mary for one of Joshua's memories. He had spoken to us of how much he loved her and how close their bond was. He spoke also of the joy she brought to his life through the 'simple things'. The two of them used to go bowling all the time and that was HIS special time with her. I don't think I ever saw them apart...she was the light and joy of his life.

Two years ago Mary had a series of strokes and ended up in the hospital...she almost didn't recover. Eventually she did but you could see that her hold on this world was a bit more tenuous...she seemed almost transparent at times...ethereal.

Well, on September 23rd 2007 at the age of 23...Mary crossed over.

We had not been in close contact with Annaleah and Joshua for a while...although we saw them here and there and it was by chance (or design?) that Mark saw the obituary in the paper and called my attention to it. We saw it on Sat. and the memorial at there house was that coming Monday.

Suddenly I was 'taken by the muse' and had to begin writing. I finished the verse and some sketching on Saturday and painted the gift on Sunday afternoon. On Monday we attended the gathering at their house (found the house by chance too...since there was no address in the paper) and I presented them with this "Present of Mary"



Many a flower blooms and fades ' too quickly we might say, yet

A flower's worth is measured out in joy, not length of stay

Regret not the fading nor the petals on the breeze.

Yesterday's Petals on the winds of memory

Are smiles beyond a flower's season.

- in memory of Mary A.

The Saga of the Bird

"The TIME has come" the walrus said "to talk of many things. Of shoes and ships and ceiling wax: of Cabbages and Kings" - Lewis Carroll

And here the time has come to speak of the saga of the bird. So fix yourself a cup of tea and a plate of cookies and settle in...it's story time.

Once upon a time in a land full of feathers and dreams there lived a family of 5. Well, 5 humans at least. A mother human, a father human, an eldest son, a middle daughter, and a toddler boy. This family also included 5 pets: The eldest cat, the boy cat, the boy cat's girl friend, the kitchen cat, and the dog. The family was complete and happy to be so. At least, they THOUGHT they were complete.

One day the family was preparing for a friend to visit and share a meal with them. The elder children were out playing and staying out of the way while the mother and father prepared dinner and the toddler played "get underfoot". It was 5:45 in the evening and the friend was due to arrive around 6/6:30pm...dinner was cooking and there were only a few preparations left to be made. Plenty of time to finish without being rushed.
Suddenly the voice of the girl child was heard through the open window as she and the boy made their way home: "mumble mumble BIRD...mumble KEEP IT mumble".

The mother immediately thought to herself "Oh PLEASE, by all that is sacred in the world - NOT A BABY CHICKEN".

{Now to understand the urgency of the mother's fervor'd plea it is necessary to be aquainted with a few salient facts:

Firstly - that chickens are wild on this Rock in the Sea, in fact the neighbors boy had recently adopted 2 wild baby chicks...and chickens (and roosters) are loud!

Secondly - the dog (due to an unfortunate 'pecking incidence' in his youth) had an unreasoning hatred of all things chicken...unless cooked}

Well, her supplication was answered. It was not a baby chicken.

Oh no...not a chicken.

It was one of these:



A Japanese White eye...only a little bit bigger than a large egg.

SIGH

So the mother and father made the bird a safe place within the cat carrier using a towel and gave the bird water and melon and crackers to tempt it. All through dinner the toddler HAD to go and see the bird. The young boy was enthralled and kept signing "bird bird bird" to anyone who would listen. Every 5 minutes he went to see the bird: "bird bird bird". Well the bird eventually settled in and looked like it was sleeping. So the mother told the young child "Shhhh, we must be quiet. The bird is trying to sleep" So the young boy then signed "Shhhhh, bird sleep". Over and over he would ask for someones hand so he could lead them to where the bird was and tell them "Shhhhhh, bird sleep".

And so the evening drew to a close. The friend left, the daughter and toddler fell into slumber and the eldest boy was reading in his room as the father and mother worked on ending their day. But all was not ok in this house of feathers and dreams...the father came to the mother with unsettling news "I think the bird died" he said to her...so she came to look and sure enough the small bundle of feathers had breathed it's last and moved on.

What to do?

In the morning the mother spoke to the daughter and told her of the passing of the feathered spirit. "My daughter" she said "do not grieve to deeply; this beautiful bird knew that it's time to move on had come...and it came to you. It trusted you to give it a safe and comfortable place for it's body to rest while it's spirit moved on. That is a very sacred and special trust to receive from a wild animal. Be honored that you were chosen and do not be ashamed of your tears, for they are natural and right. We will allow you to choose a special plant and we will bury the bird..." "Her name is Cutie" said the daughter. "We will bury Cutie and put a plant over her so you can always see her in the growth of your plant" said the mother. "We will do it this afternoon when you come home from school."

So the children left for school and the mother and father sat and thought. They thought of how cute the young toddler had looked when he signed bird...they thought of how much the young girl had liked the bird...they thought of the inevitable "Can we get a bird" that was bound to issue from the childrens mouths...and they decided to go look and see if getting a bird would be a feasable thing to do.

Now I am sure, dear reader, that you KNOW what happened next...

They came home with THIS:


and the children were pleased.

Then they buried Cutie under a beautiful crotan right in the front of the house.

They are now a family of 5 humans and 6 pets and they are working on making the budgie feel welcome. The mother is hand training it. The children talk to it. The toddler coo's and babbles at it right before trying to hug the entire cage.

And the father, you ask? He is trying to convince the dog that the bird will not replace him and convince the cats that the bird is NOT a 'box-lunch'.

And so the saga of the bird comes to a close. In the land of dreams a new feather has come to roost and sing.

and all of this is true...